The “do it all “ lie

The expectation that women must "do it all" is pervasive and fuels countless unrealistic demands. My core argument is...

The pressure on women to "do it all" is immense and exhausting. We're constantly juggling unrealistic expectations. My point? It's not that we can't do it all – because we can and do. It's about the systemic barriers that make it so incredibly difficult, and the lie that it's a simple matter of individual effort.

Many women, especially those from marginalized communities, face an uphill battle. The gender pay gap, lack of affordable childcare, and inflexible work structures are just a few of the hurdles. The myth of effortlessly balancing a demanding career and family? It's a myth. Our current system isn't designed to support us on both fronts.

Let me share a personal example. From the outside, my life might look pretty good. I work remotely with flexible hours, which allows me to handle things like school drop-offs and pick-ups. But even this "flexibility" is a constant juggling act. It involves coordinating with my husband, relying on my parents, and constantly shifting gears. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Add in work, the (minimal) housework I manage to squeeze in, the gym, bills, appointments… it's a non-stop balancing act. My husband and I both work more now than we did earlier in our careers, despite having climbed the corporate ladder. We're constantly in survival mode. Grabbing a healthy lunch feels like a luxury. Evenings and weekends are often spent catching up on work. Sure, there are occasional slow days, but they're the exception, not the rule. And I have a strong support system. I can't imagine how single moms without family support, relying on friends or babysitters, do it. I deeply admire their resilience.

So, we're not "doing it all." We're "making it," barely. And it's harmful to pretend otherwise. We need real systemic changes: more flexible work arrangements, affordable childcare, and a fundamental shift in how we value caregiving. Because caregiving is work.

We all know the feeling of being overwhelmed. It's impacting our well-being, and it's a direct result of societal and cultural pressures. We need to reclaim our time and redefine what success actually means. That means letting go of perfectionism and impossible standards. We need to prioritize what truly matters, learn to delegate effectively, and demand a more equitable sharing of responsibilities both at home and at work. The idea of "having it all" is a fantasy within the current system. We need systemic change, increased support for working mothers, and a serious re-evaluation of gender roles and work-life balance. Let's focus on well-being, not perfection, and advocate for a fairer distribution of responsibilities.

Ready to hear my recommendations for reclaiming your time, reducing stress, and redefining success on your own terms? Let's dive in.

Lets talk about infertility

Let's talk about infertility in a way that's easy to understand. Infertility can be a tough topic, and it's important to remember that everyone's experience is unique. It's also a complex issue, and even the numbers can be a little confusing depending on who you ask and how they define it.

Infertility can be a really tough journey, and I know this firsthand. It's basically when getting pregnant is difficult, and doctors usually define it as trying to conceive regularly without birth control for a year without success. It's more common than you'd think, impacting millions of couples and individuals worldwide. About half the time, it's related to the woman's reproductive system, and in the US, it affects about 1 in 10 women aged 15-44 (data collected from AI)

For women, infertility can be caused by several things. Ovulation problems are the most common, meaning the ovaries aren't releasing eggs regularly. Conditions like PCOS can be a factor. Blocked or damaged fallopian tubes can prevent sperm from reaching the egg or the fertilized egg from getting to the uterus. Sometimes, it's an issue with the uterus or cervix itself, making implantation difficult. Endometriosis, where tissue similar to the uterine lining grows outside the uterus, can also cause problems. And sometimes, even after tons of tests, there's no clear answer, which is known as unexplained infertility. Age also plays a role, as getting pregnant naturally becomes more difficult after 35. Lifestyle factors like smoking, excessive alcohol, weight issues, and certain medications can also affect fertility, as can some STIs.

It's important to remember that everyone's different, and these are just general statistics. If you're worried, talking to a doctor is crucial for personalized advice and support. There are also support groups and mental health professionals who can help if you're struggling emotionally. It's okay to reach out for help – you're not alone.

From my own experience, I went through IVF, embryo freezing, and even used a gestational carrier. RMA of New York in Melville, Long Island was amazing throughout my entire journey. They helped me navigate everything, from the medical procedures to the legal complexities of surrogacy. I'm forever grateful for their support and expertise, which ultimately led to the greatest gift – my daughter. (And for the record, I'm not affiliated with them financially; I just genuinely had a wonderful experience.) If you're in the area and looking for fertility support, they offer a wide range of services, from egg and embryo freezing to LGBTQ+ family building and adoption. I highly recommend reaching out to a healthcare provider for guidance and support tailored to your specific situation.